This season seems like it has been unusually tough on U.S. eventing. We have lost so many lovely horses and been blindsided by injuries, but we still kick on. 

Yet I have still found myself looking in the mirror, asking, "What am I doing?" and questioning the sport I have dedicated my life to.

At first I thought I had lost it when these questions started entering my head, my positive nature derailed.

"I might as well throw in the towel and take up gardening."

(I have nothing against gardening, for the record.)