Let’s get past political correctness: In breeches, you either have a perfect figure or you are a fat chick. Because no matter how you package it or how many Up With People comments you can bestow upon your Abbondanza Persuasion, you’ve chosen a sport with a rudely unforgiving uniform.

Oh to be blessed with the perfect equitation body, whether for hunters or dressage. You know, those B-words—some of whom are your best friends—who have long legs, a willowy build and just enough endowment that they have something there but can still see their feet when looking down.